


a tale of two brothers

by tinybox



Series: side effects may vary [8]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brotherly Love, Undertale Pacifist Route
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24174295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinybox/pseuds/tinybox
Summary: A universe where Papyrus wears a blue scarf, Sans is Royal Scientist, and you're still you.And hey, there may be one or two problems with the Core, but that's probably not something worth worrying about.
Series: side effects may vary [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1258322
Kudos: 10





	1. meeting the brothers

"Human. Don't you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand."

You take a deep breath to ground yourself, turning to face the shadowy figure behind you. Before you can think twice, you quickly grasp the monster's hand. 

**_pfffffffffffffffffffffftttbbbrttt_ **

You snatch your hand back quickly. 

The monster chuckles. "heh. the old whoopie cushion in your hand trick. it's always funny. the name's sans. sans the skeleton."

Sure enough, Sans is a skeleton. He doesn't look too much like a human skeleton, though.

You're small for your age, but Sans isn't that much taller than you, with wide-set bones and a permanent smile. He's wearing a blue sweatshirt and a pair of basketball shorts underneath a white lab coat, and his feet are clad in fuzzy pink slippers. 

On the lab coat, there's a little name-tag reading "SNAS" in comic sans. You're not sure if the misspelling is on purpose, or whether it's meant to be a joke. 

Sans shows you the whoopie cushion strapped to his gloved hand. 

"this probably won't mean anything to you, but i'm a royal scientist at the lab in hotland," Sans says, lazily pointing to his lab coat. "there's two of us in total, which means i only have to do half of the work required. normally i'd be at the lab, but it's my day off, so i'm helping my bro patrol the area for humans."

Sans shoots you the double finger-guns. "you don't have to worry about me, but my bro? he's a human hunting fanatic."

A pit of dread begins forming in your stomach.

"in fact, i think i hear him coming right now. so, uh...follow me across the bridge. i have an idea. don't worry about the bars, my bro made them too wide to stop anyone."

You follow Sans across the bridge. 

"quick, behind that conveniently shaped lamp." 

You quickly get behind the lamp, which is, in fact, conveniently shaped just like you. 

You hear the crunching of footprints on the snow as someone approaches.

"sup, bro?" 

The footsteps come to a halt.

"YOU KNOW WHAT'S UP, BROTHER. I KNOW THIS IS TECHNICALLY YOUR DAY OFF FROM DOING SCIENCE-Y STUFF, BUT YOU DID PROMISE THAT YOU WOULD PUT A LITTLE EFFORT INTO PATROLLING AND RE-CALIBRATING YOUR PUZZLES! THIS COULD BE THE DAY I FINALLY CATCH A HUMAN!"

You take a quick peek from behind the lamp and catch a glimpse of another skeleton wearing what looks like a homemade blue and white uniform.

Around his neck is a blue scarf, which is fluttering dramatically even though there isn't any wind to blow it. 

"WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING HERE, ANYWAY?"

"staring at this lamp. it's really cool. do you wanna look? i'm sure it'll _brighten_ your day."

The feeling of dread is coming back in full force.

"I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THAT, SANS! WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUGH HERE?! I WANT TO BE READY!!! I NEED TO BE READY!!! ANYTHING COULD HAPPEN, AND I HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR ANY AND ALL SITUATIONS!"

"would one of those situations involve you looking at this lamp?"

"AUDIBLE SIGH."

"you know, i'm right here. you don't need to-"

"SANS, I MUST BE THE ONE! I MUST CAPTURE A HUMAN! THEN, I, THE...GREAT PAPYRUS!!! WILL MAKE THE UNDERGROUND PROUD! I WILL HAVE RESPECT...RECOGNITION...I WILL FINALLY BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD! PEOPLE WILL ASK TO BE MY...FRIEND?"

"hmm..." Sans thoughtfully hums. "maybe this lamp will help you."

"SANS!!! WHILE I DO APPRECIATE YOU BEING HERE, YOUR INPUT IS NOT HELPFUL!!! YOU LAZYBONES! YOU'VE BEEN SLACKING OFF AT THE LAB AS WELL...ALL YOU SEEM TO DO NOWADAYS IS SIT AND BOONDOGGLE! YOU GET LAZIER AND LAZIER EVERY DAY!!!"

"hey, take it easy. i've done a ton of work, paps. a _skele_ -ton."

Somehow, despite only seeing the back of Sans' head, you get the impression that he's winking at Papyrus with a cheesy grin on his face.

"SANS!!!" Papyrus groans. "STOP THIS RIGHT NOW!"

"come on. you're smiling."

"I AM, AND I HATE IT!"

"you've been working hard, bro. in fact, i would say that you're working yourself...down to the bone."

"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!"

"heh."

The tall skeleton sighs deeply, before quickly perking up. "WELL, I MIGHT AS WELL GET BACK TO PATROLLING. AS FOR YOU, YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT A LITTLE MORE _BACKBONE_ INTO IT!"

You hear the sound of Papyrus running off, all while laughing, "NYEHHEHEHEHEH!"

You then hear him double back, let out a final, "HEH!" for good measure, before running off for real this time.

After Papyrus is gone, Sans says, "alright, you can come out now."

You walk out from behind the lamp. 

"that's my brother, papyrus. isn't he cool?"

You nod in agreement. Even though you haven't actually met Papyrus, he already seems super cool. 

"actually," Sans says, sounding a little more serious," he's been kind of down lately. i was wondering...maybe you could let him see you? don't worry, he's harmless, even though when he tries not to be."

You shrug, signing a single word. 

_"Okay."_

"thanks a million. i'll be up ahead."

To your surprise, instead of going ahead, Sans turns and walks back the way you came. You stare at his retreating back until he turns a corner and becomes out of sight. 

Weird.

You decide to keep moving forward, anyway. 

***(The convenience of the lamp still fills you with determination.)**

You round the corner of the snowy path, enjoying the sound of your feet crunching through the snow. So far, you've had a pretty good time encountering the other monsters, but you feel a bit bad for ignoring Snow Cap's _cool_ hat.

And for ditching Jerry like that, even if he did kind of creep you out. 

Then, you hear Papyrus' voice from ahead. "SO, AS I WAS SAYING ABOUT UNDYNE-"

His voice cuts off as he spots you. For a for a moment, all you can hear is the wind rustling the trees and the sound of your own breathing. 

Then, you watch in bewilderment as the two skeletons alternate between spinning to face you and then themselves, feeling a little bit dizzy just looking at them.

Then the two stop. 

"SANS!!! OH MY GOD!! IS THAT...A HUMAN?!" 

Sans looks straight at you with a sly grin. "uhhhhhh....actually, i think that's a rock."

Confused, you turn around. Behind you and to the left, there's a medium sized rock. 

Papyrus looks a bit dejected. 

"OH."

"hey bro?"

"YES, SANS?"

"what's the that in _front_ of the rock?"

Papyrus turns to you, then quickly looks back to face his brother. "SANS...IS THAT A HUMAN?"

"yes."

Turning back to face you, his eye lights sparkling, Papyrus shouts, "SANS! I FINALLY DID IT! UNDYNE WILL...I'M GONNA...I'LL BE...POPULAR! HOPEFULLY!"

Papyrus clears his throat. "AHEM. HUMAN! YOU SHALL NOT PASS THIS AREA! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU! I WILL THEN CAPTURE YOU! YOU WILL BE DELIVERED TO THE CAPITAL! AND THEN..." Papyrus' voice trails off for a second. "UMM...WELL, I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT'LL HAPPEN NEXT. HUMAN! CONTINUE...ONLY IF YOU DARE!"

With that, Papyrus runs off, laughing. "NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

For a moment, Sans' smile looks fond. 

"well, that went well. don't sweat it kid," Sans says with a wink, "i'll keep an eyesocket out for ya." With that, Sans heads off in the same direction as Papyrus.

You shrug, and follow behind at a much more leisurely pace.

Not too far ahead, there's a homemade station made of cardboard. Though the roof is a little lopsided, you can tell this was made with care. 

***(There's some narration on this cardboard box.)**

**YOU OBSERVE THE WELL-CRAFTED SENTRY STATION. WHO COULD HAVE BUILT THIS, YOU PONDER...I BET IT WAS THAT VERY FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN AND HIS SUPER SMART BROTHER WHO HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF THE ROYAL SCIENTISTS!**

**(NOTE: NOT YET A VERY FAMOUS GUARDSMAN. THE BROTHER, HOWEVER, IS A ROYAL SCIENTIST RIGHT NOW!)**

After some walking, you come across two tables next to each other. One of them is round, with an unplugged microwave sitting on top. The other is rectangular shaped. Placed on that table is a plate of spaghetti.

There's a note on the ground.

**HUMAN!!**

**PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI.**

**(LITTLE DO YOU KNOW, THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP...DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU!!! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT....THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE THAT YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING!!)**

**(THOROUGHLY JAPED BY THE ~~HOPEFULLY~~ GREAT PAPYRUS!!!)**

**NYEH HEH HEH,**

**PAPYRUS.**

Picking up the fork, you try and get some noodles off the plate. The spaghetti is so cold, however, that it seems to be stuck to the plate, which is in turn, stuck to the table.

Taking a closer look at the microwave, you see all of the settings say "spaghetti."

Huh.


	2. papyrus' perplexing puzzles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aren't puzzles fun?

***YOU WON!**

***You earned 0 XP and 30 gold.**

Doggo's unseeing eyes dart back and forth in obvious panic. "S-S-Something pet me..." he stutters. "Something that isn't m-moving..." 

You hear the sound of his knives dropping onto the snow.

"I'm gonna need some dog treats for this!!!" Doggo yelps, sinking back down inside his station. 

That was close...

Further away, you spot some slightly burned dog treats on the ground. 

***(Someone's been smoking dog treats.)**

You're not quite sure why someone would smoke dog treats, even if that someone happened to be a dog. 

***(You decide not to think about it any further.)**

The next part of the road is mostly filled a large patch of ice. In the center of the ice patch is a small sign. Standing by some trees before said ice patch is Sans, texting away on a slightly more modern cellphone. Hearing your footsteps, Sans looks up with a lazy smile, slipping the phone into a pocket in his lab coat.

"hey, here's something important to remember. my brother has a very **special attack**. if you see a **blue attack** , don't move and it won't hurt you. here's an easy way to keep it in mind. imagine a stop sign."

In your mind, you picture a stop sign.

"when you see a stop sign, you **stop,** right?"

You nod in agreement. 

"stop signs are **red**. so just imagine a **blue** stop sign instead. simple, right? when fighting, think about **blue stop signs**."

You hear the sound of a cell phone ringing.

"hang on, let me just see who this is."

Pulling out his phone, Sans checks the screen. For a split second, he looks concerned.

"better get going. i hope this advice helped, kiddo."

With that Sans walks off, now holding his phone where his ear would have been if he were human. 

You faintly hear him say, "hey al, is everything...." before he turns a corner and vanishes from sight.

Time to get going, then.

You slip and slide your way to the sign, hoping for some useful information. 

***North: Ice**

***South: Ice**

***West: Ice**

***East: Snowdin Town (...and ice)**

Out of curiosity, you head west, and discover the path ends in a small outcropping over a cliff. Right where the path ends, is a snowman.

You smile at the snowman, and they smile back.

"Hello," the snowman says in a soft voice. "I am a snowman. I want to see the world, but I cannot move. If you would be so kind, traveler, please take a piece of me and bring it very far away."

***Yes *No**

Seems reasonable enough. 

***Yes**

***(You got the Snowman piece.)**

"Thank you, and good luck!"

You head back the way you came, turning east this time instead of west.

A little while later, you come across a medium-sized patch of empty field. Across the field, Sans and Papyrus are talking with each other.

"SO, WHAT DID DOCTOR ALPHYS SAY?"

Sans shrugs. "not much. just the usual sort of stuff, you know?"

"NOT REALLY."

"science stuff."

"OH."

"yeah."

"OH-HO!" Papyrus cheers, turning to face you. "THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU...MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES! I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE...QUITE SHOCKING!"

Sans winks. "literally."

"EXACTLY! FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS THE INVISIBLE...ELECTRICITY MAZE!!! WHEN YOU TOUCH THE WALLS OF THIS MAZE, THIS ORB WILL ADMINISTER A HEARTY ZAP!"

Papyrus takes out a small orb from his pocket.

"SOUND LIKE FUN??? BECAUSE! THE AMOUNT OF FUN YOU WILL PROBABLY HAVE, IS ACTUALLY RATHER SMALL I THINK. SO, IF YOU WANT TO GIVE UP NOW AND NOT GET HURT, THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE."

You shake your head.

"OKAY, YOU CAN GO AHEAD, NOW."

You take a couple steps forward and-

_zzzZZZZzzzzzap!_

Instead of feeling pain, you're left totally unharmed. 

Papyrus, on the other hand, looks pretty charred. As he shakes the soot from his clothes, Papyrus shouts, "SANS!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!?!"

Sans looks at you, then Papyrus.

"i think the human has to hold the orb," he says after a few moments.

"OH, OKAY."

Papyrus zig-zags his way across the field, leaving obvious footprints behind in the snow. 

"HOLD THIS, PLEASE!" Papyrus says, dropping the orb gently on your head.

Papyrus walks back to Sans, using the same exact path he took to get to you. 

"OKAY, TRY NOW!"

Not wanting to hurt his feelings by solving the puzzle too fast, you pretend to stop and think for several moments while navigating, keeping your gaze firmly on the ground.

Whenever you look up, Papyrus cheers, "YOU CAN DO IT, HUMAN!"

When you make it to the other side, Papyrus gasps, "INCREDIBLE!! YOU SLIPPERY SNAIL!! YOU SOLVED IT SO EASILY...TOO EASILY! STILL, I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU."

"good job, kiddo."

"HOWEVER!! THE NEXT PUZZLE WILL NOT BE EASY! IT WAS DESIGNED BY MY SUPER SMART BROTHER, SANS! YOU WILL SURELY BE CONFOUNDED! I KNOW I AM! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!"

With some parting "NYEH HEH HEH HEH"'s for good measure, Papyrus runs off, quickly disappearing from your line of sight. 

Sans walks over to you. "hey, thanks...my brother seems to be having a lot of fun. to be honest, so am i. we haven't been able to hang out as much lately, so getting this opportunity means a lot to me."

_"No problem."_

"by the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing? we made that a few weeks ago for a costume party, and he hasn't worn anything else since...keeps calling it his "battle body." man, isn't my brother cool?"

You nod enthusiastically in agreement.

"well, i'll see you up ahead, okay?"

You approach a blue rabbit monster leaning against an ice cream cart. Although he's wearing a cheerful yellow and red uniform, he looks anything but cheerful. 

"I don't understand why these aren't selling," the rabbit monster sighs. "It's the perfect weather for something cold..." he dejectedly continues. 

When he spots you, the rabbit monster immediately perks up. "OH!!! A CUSTOMER!!! Hello! Would you like some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just 15g!"

You dig around in your pockets, and come up with a total of...7g.

"Actually," the rabbit monster quickly says, "since you're my first customer of the day, you get a discount! Now only 7g!"

You hand over the money.

"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!"

You smile, and with your free hand, give him a thumbs-up.

***(You got the Nice Cream.)**

Putting the Nice Cream in your Inventory, you head over to what looks like mini golf but with a snowball. As you play, the snowball gets smaller and smaller, so you have to rush to get it in the hole.

Your first attempt is unsuccessful, but on your second attempt, you manage to get the snowball in the hole.

A yellow flag pops up. 

***YELLOW- Your sure-fire accuracy put an end to the mayhem of "Ball."**

***(You are awarded 3G.)**

You would keep playing, but your hands are starting to get cold, so you decide to keep moving forward.

Once again, Sans and Papyrus are waiting for you across a medium sized patch of snow. In the middle of the snow patch is a piece of paper. 

"HUMAN!!" Papyrus cheerfully calls. "I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR..."

Papyrus stops mid-sentence, turning to Sans in obvious confusion. "SANS!! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE? IS IT INVISIBLE?"

Sans points towards the paper. "it's right there. on the ground."

Papyrus takes a closer look at the paper. "IT JUST LOOKS LIKE A PIECE OF PAPER..."

"trust me, there's no way they can get past this one."

You head over to the piece of paper and pick it up. 

***(Monster Kidz Word Search.)**

***(There's a crude drawing of an ice cube with dog features on the side of the word search, with a speech bubble reading, "Hey Kid's! Can you help me solve this puzzle?")**

You put the paper back down. 

"SANS, THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"

"whoops," Sans says apologetically. "i guess i should have used today's crossword instead."

"WHAT?! CROSSWORD?! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!!" Papyrus gasps. "IN MY OPINION...JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."

Sans raises a browbone. "what? really, dude? that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."

"UN. BELIEVABLE." Papyrus scoffs. "HUMAN!!! SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"

***(Which is harder?)**

***Jumble *Crossword**

You carefully consider both options.

_"Jumble is harder."_

"I KNEW IT!" Papyrus laughs. "HUMANS MUST BE VERY INTELLIGENT IF THEY ALSO FIND JUNIOR JUMBLE SO DIFFICULT! NYEH! HEH! HEH!"

Once again, Papyrus runs off, leaving you and Sans behind.

"thanks for saying "junior jumble" just to appease my brother," Sans says. "he tends to look outside the box when it comes to stuff like this. yesterday he got stumped trying to "solve" the horoscope."

There's a small sign nearby. 

***Warning: Dog Marriage**

You feel your eyebrows furrow in confusion. 

...Since you can't understand the warning, you decide to put it out of your mind for now. 

You head downwards, and see that the path is blocked by some very sharp spikes. 

You then spot a slight platform, covered in a thin layer of snow.

You go over to wipe the snow off.

Suddenly

***Lesser Dog appears.**

-you're pulled into an Encounter. 

Lesser Dog has fluffy white fur that looks soft to the touch. They're wearing a suit of armor, carrying an over-sized sword and shield that are almost as big as them.

You really want to pet the dog.

***ACT**

***Check** ***Pet**

***Pet *Pet**

***Pet *Pet**

***Pet *Pet**

You decide to **Check** them first.

*** LESSER DOG- ATK 7 DEF 0**

***Wields a stone dogger made of pomer-granite.**

Even though you're in danger, you can't help but giggle at the puns.

A small dog attack appears, leaping and chasing your soul.

***Lesser Dog cocks its head to one side.**

Maybe you should try to pet them?

***You barely lift your hand and Lesser Dog got excited.**

"Bark! Bark!"

A rush of blue and white spears.

You stay still for the blue spears, and stay far to the right when the right spears get close.

***You lightly touched the dog.**

***It's already overexcited...**

The small dog appears once again, leaping and chasing your soul. 

You can't help but notice that Lesser Dog's neck is slightly more extended, and you wonder what will happen if you pet them some more.

***You pet the Dog.**

***It raises its head up to meet your hand.**

Lesser Dog's neck has extended even higher.

Now that you know the pattern of the spear attacks, they're a lot easier to dodge.

"Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark!" Lesser Dog excitedly barks. "Bark! Bark Bark!"

***You pet the Dog.**

***It was a good dog.**

"Bark Bark Bark! Bark Bark! Bark!"

Lesser Dog's neck is stretched even further. 

Their tail is wagging furiously.

"Bark!"

***Lesser Dog is overstimulated.**

"Bark Bark Bark Bark Bark! Bark Bark Bark!"

***Spare**

***YOU WON!**

***You earned 0 XP and 20 gold.**

Lesser Dog runs off, barking excitedly. 

When you brush the light layer of snow off the platform, it reveals a map with an 'x' marked on it.

The map looks like an overhead view of the area you're in right now...

Studying the location of the 'x', you make your way over to where you think it probably is. 

***There's a switch hidden in the snow.**

***Click!**

You head back to where the spikes once were, and see that they've vanished into the ground.

Now you can move forward! 

...You probably shouldn't have gotten too excited, because once you cross a small bridge, two very big dog guards in hooded robes approach you, each one carrying a giant battleaxe.

"What's that smell? Where's that smell?" 

"If you're a smell...identify yoursmellf!"

You're frozen in terror as both guards quickly circle you. 

"Hmmm...here's that weird smell...it makes me want to **eliminate**."

"...Eliminate YOU!"

***Dogi assault you!**

Both dogs pull back their hoods. 

One of the dogs has thick eyebrows, while the other has long eyelashes. 

***Check**

***Dogamy**

***DOGAMY 6 ATK 4 DEF**

***Husband of Dogaressa.**

***Knows only what he smells.**

"Don't touch my hot dog," Dogamy barks.

"He means me," Dogaressa giggles.

Two giant anvil-shaped attacks show up on either side of the screen, leaving very little room for you to dodge out of the way. 

***Check**

***Dogaressa**

***DOGARESSA 6 ATK 4 DEF**

***This puppy finds her husband lovely. SMELLS ONLY?**

"Let's kick some human tail!!" Dogamy growls.

"Do humans have tails?" Dogaressa asks.

They briefly bump their nose together in what you assume is a dog version of a kiss.

Two small dog attacks appear, and one of them starts barking spinning blue and white hearts toward the other. 

You manage to dodge them all.

***The Dogs are practicing for the next couples contest.**

You think to yourself for a moment. The description on both dogs said that they trust their noses above everything else, so...maybe you can use this to your advantage? 

You drop to the ground and begin rolling around in the dirt and snow. 

***You smell like a weird puppy.**

"No. 2 Nuzzle Champs '98!!" Dogamy boasts.

"Of course we were second," Dogaressa yips. 

They use the same attack as they did earlier, and you dodge out of the way of all of the heart bullets. 

***The Dogs may want to re-smell you.**

***Dogamy**

***Re-sniff**

***The Dogs sniff you again...after rolling in the dirt, you smell all right!**

"What!" Dogamy yelps. "Smells like a..."

"Are you actually a little puppy?" Dogaressa asks.

***The Dogs think you might be a lost puppy.**

You reach up and pet Dogaressa, then Dogamy.

"A dog that pets dogs....amazing!" Dogaressa gasps.

"Wow! Pet by another puppy!" Dogamy yips.

***The Dog's minds have been expanded.**

***Spare**

***YOU WON!**

***You earned 0 XP and 40 gold.**

"Dogs can pet other dogs???" Dogamy marvels.

"A new world has opened up for us..."

"Thanks, weird puppy!"

With those parting words, Dogamy and Dogaressa leave. 

The first thing you spot is another puzzle. Looking ahead, you see that the next area is, once again, blocked off by a row of spikes.

On the other side of the spikes is Papyrus, who startles when he sees you.

"WOWIE! THAT WAS FAST! YOU REALLY ARE GOOD AT PUZZLES!" Papyrus compliments. "ALTHOUGH, THERE'S SOMETHING I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU...EARLIER YOU WENT BY MY SPAGHETTI TRAP. DID YOU...WAS THERE ANYTHING ACTUALLY ON THE PLATE?"

You nod.

Papyrus breathes out a sigh of relief. "I'M GLAD THE SPAGHETTI BANDIT DIDN'T GET TO IT FIRST. ALTHOUGH...NOW I WONDER HOW YOU GOT PAST MY TRAP IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND, MORE IMPORTANTLY, IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"

***(What do you tell Papyrus about his spaghetti?)**

***Ate it *Left it**

_"I ate half of it, and left the rest."_

"REALLY? WOWIE...NO ONE OUTSIDE MY FAMILY HAS EVER ENJOYED MY COOKING BEFORE...WELL THEN!! FRET NOT HUMAN! BECAUSE I WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PASTA YOU COULD EVER WANT! HEH HEH HEH NYEH!"

Papyrus jogs off.

There's a sign in front of the puzzle.

***Turn every X into an 0.**

***Then press the switch.**

Seems like when you step on one of the tiles, it turns from X to 0 and vice-versa. 

Though the tiles are both almost surrounded by hardened snow poffs, there's an easy entrance for you to step on them, one tile at a time.

After changing the tiles, you press the switch.

***Click!**

The spikes are now gone.

Turns out, Papyrus didn't go that far away from the spikes.

"GREAT JOB, HUMAN! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT! BUT...WELL, I...HOW DO I SAY THIS...WHILE YOU WERE SOLVING THE LAST PUZZLE I GOT A LITTLE BORED. SO I REARRANGED THE SNOW IN THE SHAPE OF MY FACE. HERE, LET ME SHOW YOU."

Papyrus leads you to the next puzzle.

"UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND. NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY SMART YET OCCASIONALLY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND!"

Papyrus then poses, his blue scarf waving in the non-existent breeze. "WORRY NOT! I CAN SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM, AND THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED! MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY THE PUZZLE YOURSELF! I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER!!!"

***Turn every X into an 0.**

***Then press the switch.**

You spend the next few minutes working on the puzzle. Unlike the last one, this puzzle is trickier. There are areas in which you need to backtrack, but when you step back onto an 0, it turns back into an X again. 

After about ten minutes or so, you grow frustrated. 

"HUMAN, I THINK I SOLVED THE PUZZLE, BUT IF YOU'RE HAVING FUN, I WON'T GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER."

_"I can do this."_

"GREAT ATTITUDE! I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!"

Finally, all the X's are now 0's.

Triumphantly, you press the switch.

***Click!**

"GREAT JOB, HUMAN! YOU DIDN'T EVEN NEED MY HELP! YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO! WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE THE NEXT ONE! IT MIGHT EVEN BE TOO EASY FOR YOU! I'LL SEE YOU AT THE NEXT PUZZLE! NYEH! HEH HEH! HEHEHEH!"

With some parting "NYEH HEH HEH HEH!"'s, Papyrus runs off.

The next puzzle looks like a dance floor, with different blocks of varying shades of grey. On the other side, both Sans and Papyrus are waiting for you. 

"HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS PUZZLE! IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS! ALSO, SANS WAS ALSO THERE WHEN SHE BUILT IT, SO I GUESS HE TECHNICALLY HELPED?"

"i provided moral support. also, i wrote our names on the back in permanent marker when she wasn't looking."

"I SUPPOSE THAT COUNTS? ANYWAY! YOU SEE THESE TILES? ONCE I THROW THIS SWITCH...THEY WILL BEGIN TO CHANGE COLOR! EACH COLOR HAS A DIFFERENT FUNCTION!"

Papyrus begins to explain the function of each colored tile. 

You struggle to follow along.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Papyrus asks.

Not wanting to be a bother, you nod.

Papyrus beams. "GREAT! NOW, IT'S TIME...TO PULL THE SWITCH!" He then pauses. "THERE'S ONE MORE THING I FORGOT TO MENTION...AND THAT IS THAT THIS PUZZLE IS COMPLETELY RANDOMIZED, SO WHEN I PULL THIS SWITCH...IT WILL CREATE A PUZZLE THAT HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!"

Papyrus pulls the switch.

All the tiles begin flashing random colors, before they eventually settle into place. There's a pink path in front of you, which you remember Papyrus saying they do nothing.

You feel relieved.

Papyrus doesn't say anything, and just spins out of sight. 

You cross the path with ease.

Sans looks a bit contrite. "welp, that sure wasn't expected. guess you got lucky. anyway, thanks for doing this with my bro. i feel like i don't get to spend enough time with him as is, and it's great to be here and have him so excited about the whole capturing a human thing." 

He winks. "by the way, i hope you don't mind that i ate the rest of my bro's spaghetti."

Sans pauses for a second. "then again, pap's cooking is sort of an...acquired taste. he's been taking cooking classes for a while, and he's gotten a lot better. i bet by next year, he'll be on his way to becoming master chef, or, at the very least, be able to make something edible."


	3. welcome to snowdin

Snowdin reminds you of a town you'd see in a Christmas movie- small and cozy, where everyone knows each other and nothing bad ever happens. A safe place that's warm and inviting. 

***(The sight of such a friendly town fills you with determination.)**

The fact that there's a pun in the town name makes it even better.

(You love puns.)

You head into the shop first. 

"Hello, traveler. How can I help you?" asks a rabbit monster from behind the shop's counter. "Not to be too forward, but you're new around here, aren't you?"

You nod.

"Well, welcome to Snowdin! It's nice to see a fresh face around here. If you have any questions about the town, feel free to ask away!"

_"What can you do around here?"_

"Grillby's has food, and the library has information...if you're tired, you can take a nap at the inn. It's right next door- my sister runs it. Oh, and if you're bored, you can always talk with the **Royal Scientist.** He always has something interesting to say. Or you could just sit outside and watch him and his brother do their thing."

The rabbit monster chuckles a little. 

"Most monsters around hear know about the skeleton brothers, especially Sans. It sure was a surprise that one of the Royal Scientists would chose to live down here...but then again, the River Person does make back and forth travels convenient. 

Anyway, the two of them just showed up one day and...asserted themselves. The town has sure gotten more exciting since the two of them showed up, that's for sure."

You look over the listed inventory. 

**50G- Tough Glove**

**50G- Manly Bandana**

**15G- Bisicle**

**25G- Cinnamon Bun**

You have exactly 30 gold, enough to buy a bisicle and a cinnamon bun.

To your delight, the cinnamon bun is shaped like a bunny's head!

"Awful teens tormented a local monster by decorating its tree-like horns," a friendly bear monster says, placing a carefully wrapped gift underneath a Christmas tree. "So we started giving that monster presents to make it feel better. Now it's a tradition to put presents underneath a decorated tree."

You don't have any presents, but you do have a faded ribbon, so you tie the ribbon carefully to one of the pine needles. 

"What a lovely decoration!"

You feel proud of your addition.

***(Most of the presents under the tree are addressed from "Santa" to various locals.)**

You talk to a couple of Snowdin residents hanging around outside, including a kid about your age named Monster Kid, who you split your Bisicle with. He doesn't have arms or anything, so he just takes the half with his mouth, instead. 

You leave the now single 'sicle in your inventory for later.

Eventually, you come across what has to be Sans and Papyrus' house, but the door is locked and no one answers when you knock on the door. 

Though you already know Toriel won't answer, you call her again.

...

There's no response.

You remember what Sans said about Papyrus' attacks, and you figure they must be like the other blue ones. All you have to do is think of blue stop signs...which is kind of a weird idea. 

Blue stop signs...

You decide it's time to leave, hoping to avoid getting into a fight with Papyrus. 


	4. battling papyrus

As soon as you step out of the boundaries of Snowdin, you are immediately surrounded in a thick layer of fog, enough that you can barely see a foot or two ahead of you. 

Despite the fact that it's probably be a bad idea to wander off in this kind of weather, you decide to keep moving forward and just hope you won't trip over anything.   
You haven't taken more than a couple steps, however, when a familiar voice cuts through the fog.

"HUMAN."

You freeze in place. 

"ALLOW ME TO TALK ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS. FEELINGS LIKE...THE JOY OF FINDING ANOTHER PASTA LOVER. THE ADMIRATION OF ANOTHER'S PUZZLE SOLVING SKILLS. THE DESIRE TO HAVE A COOL, SMART PERSON THINK YOU ARE COOL. THESE FEELINGS...THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!"

Mostly, you're just feeling confused and a little nervous. 

"I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE. OR WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE VERY LONELY, DESPITE THE FACT THAT YOU ARE NOT PHYSICALLY ALONE."

You want to give Papyrus a hug.

"I PITY YOU...LONELY HUMAN..." Papyrus' voice trails off, before it brightens up. "WORRY NOT!" he says cheerfully, "YOU WILL BE LONELY NO LONGER! I THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL BE YOUR..." The taller skeletons voice trails off again.

"NO." 

Now he sounds uncertain.

"NO! THIS IS ALL WRONG! I CAN'T BE YOUR FRIEND! YOU ARE A HUMAN! I MUST CAPTURE YOU! THEN, I WILL FULFILL MY LIFELONG DREAM!" Papyrus hesitates for a second, before plowing on. "POWERFUL! POPULAR! PRESTIGIOUS! THAT'S PAPYRUS! THE NEWEST MEMBER...OF THE ROYAL GUARD!"

Before you can do anything, the battle begins.

***Papyrus blocks the way!**

You carefully consider the options in front of you. 

You think about pressing **MERCY** , but you remember how it didn't work in other situations. 

So you press **ACT** , instead.

There are three options in front of you.

You decide to **CHECK** him.

***Papyrus 8 ATK 2 DEF**

***He likes to say: "Nyeh heh heh!"**

Unsurprisingly, Papyrus says, "NYEH HEH HEH!"

He summons some bone attacks, but you don't even need to dodge them.

Now it's your turn. 

This time, you press **FLIRT.**

_"I must be in a museum, because you truly are a work of art."_

Papyrus looks a bit flustered. "WHAT?! FLIRTING?! SO...ARE YOU FINALLY REVEALING YOUR ULTIMATE FEELINGS?"

He sounds a bit hesitant, so you nod. 

"W-WELL...I'M A SKELETON WITH VERY HIGH STANDARDS!"

You think to yourself for a moment, then sign decisively-

_"I can make spaghetti."_

"NO!" Papyrus wails, "YOU'RE MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS! I GUESS THIS MEANS...MAYBE WE SHOULD GO ON A DATE LATER? IF YOU WANT? ANYWAY! WE CAN FIGURE THAT OUT LATER! FOR NOW, I MUST CAPTURE YOU!"

Papyrus sends another volley of bone attacks your way.

Just like before, you don't even need to move.

You decide to press **MERCY**. 

Papyrus looks even more flustered. "SO YOU WON'T FIGHT...WELL, I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO USE MY FABLED BLUE ATTACK!"

Papyrus summons a wave of blue bones, these ones unavoidable. 

Remembering Sans' advice, you stay perfectly still. 

Once the attack ends, however, your entire body starts to feel incredibly heavy. 

"YOU'RE BLUE NOW! THAT'S MY ATTACK!"

Sure enough, your soul has turned a dark blue. 

Not knowing what else to do, you press **FLIRT** again.

_"I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you."_

Papyrus seems to be blushing bright blue. 

"WHAT?" he squawks, "I'M NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT DATE THING!"

He sends some more bone attacks at you. Unlike earlier, your soul now seems to weigh you down, making jumping difficult. One of the attacks nicks you, and you lose a couple HP.

**Several attacks and bad pick up lines later...**

"I CAN ALMOST TASTE MY FUTURE POPULARITY!"

You dodge another round of bone attacks.

"THE KING WILL TRIM A HEDGE IN THE SHAPE OF MY SMILE!"

The next bone attacks are a bit slower, but just as difficult to dodge.

"MY BROTHER...WELL, HE WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME AS MUCH! HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE EVEN _MORE_ TIME TO DO HIS SCIENCE STUFF!"

**Some regular attacks and a failed special attack later...**

"HUMAN...I AM GIVING YOU A CHANCE...TO ACCEPT MY **MERCY**. I CAN'T...NEVER-MIND. IT'S UP TO YOU."

You decide to **SPARE** him.

The fog has cleared. 

"NYOO HOO HOO..." Papyrus cries. "I CAN'T EVEN STOP SOMEONE AS WEAK AS YOU...I'M A FAILURE. UNDYNE'S GOING TO BE DISAPPOINTED IN ME...SANS WILL NEVER BE PROUD OF ME, EITHER. I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO JOIN THE ROYAL GUARD...AND SANS WILL CONTINUE TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME AND NOT BE ABLE TO FULLY FOCUS ON BEING ROYAL SCIENTIST." 

Papyrus sniffles. "MY FRIEND QUALITY...WILL REMAIN STAGNANT..."

_"I want to be your friend."_

"REALLY? YOU WANT TO BE MY FRIEND?"

You nod.

"WOWIE! WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD OUR FIRST DATE...AND I'VE ALREADY MANAGED TO HIT THE FRIEND ZONE!"

(You're not entirely sure what that is, but Papyrus seems happy enough.)

"WHO KNEW THAT THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE PALS...WAS TO GIVE PEOPLE AWFUL PUZZLES AND FIGHT THEM?"

Papyrus looks at you with a bright smile. "WOWIE! YOU'VE TAUGHT ME A LOT! I HEREBY GRANT YOU PERMISSION TO PASS."

**A brief explanation later...**

"ANYWAY, THAT'S ENOUGH TALKING FOR NOW. I'LL BE AT MY HOUSE, SO IF YOU WANT TO...HAVE OUR DATE, YOU CAN COME OVER AT ANY TIME!"

With that Papyrus...jumps up and walks away on the air with a couple "NYEH HEH HEH!"'s added for good measure, and is soon out of your line of sight. 


End file.
